Tag Archives: Las Vegas

Good Yogis don’t wish their neighbors an early demise.

Posted on by Justin

 

So, I’m getting the hell out of here!

My first apartment in Los Angeles, from 2004-2008, was a great place that is located on Crescent Heights, in West Hollywood. It was fun, beautiful, neighbors were nice, convenient, close to work, perfect. I moved to Las Vegas with my partner at the time, and lived there for 2.5yrs. After my breakup in June of 2010, I stayed in Vegas for 6 more months before moving back to Los Angeles. I started searching for places in LA around November, 2010, when I received a phone call from my friend and old neighbor.

“Dude, your old apartment became available again! You should call the management company and find out what the rent will be.”
So, I called them. I felt a little nauseous after they told me that the rent was $400 more than what I was paying before. But, at that point, I just want out of Las Vegas, leaving my ex and a lot of bad memories behind. In addition to that, I was literally moving back “home.” Despite the rent increase, moving back into my old place was very comforting among all the chaos.
December was a crazy month. My mom had just died, I got laid off from work, AND I was moving. I would have probably paid $500 more in rent to ensure my comfort.

I’ve currently been here one year and nine months. After the first six months, I started to remember some of the things that annoyed me about this apartment complex. I live in a 25 unit building, shaped like a “U”, with a pool in the middle. It had a lot of esthetic value, but this place began to become my personal hell. The neighbors are fucking crazy!!!

This place is nicknamed “Melrose Place” because of all the drama that happens here. Neighbors sleeping with each other, cops are called on a regular basis, late night skinny dipping (which these people had NO business being naked in public). I would not be surprised if someone ended up drowning in the pool.

I usually keep to myself, but it’s hard when you are literally surrounded by people you can’t stand. And, with thin walls, it’s hard to get sleep, especially when your creepster neighbor has his TV against your bedroom wall. I’ve talked with him many times about the noise, and even called the cops on him a couple of times myself…but nothing changes. I cursed out the elderly couple upstairs because they said something to me that I didn’t like. Many times have I slept on the sofa,  just to get a decent night’s sleep. I would find myself feeling extremely anxious and resorted to taking Xanax on a regular basis. I would get SO wound up and filled with anger at the slightest hint of noise from either one of my surrounding neighbors.
I remember saying to myself, “Ya know, if my neighbors dropped dead right in front of me, I wouldn’t think twice about it. And, I’d probably would step right over them.”

Okay, as a yogi, I can tell you, that isn’t good.

My teacher once told me, “You can’t change others, you can only change yourself.”

Remembering that, I saved up money, found a place that was close by, and put my notice into my apartment complex. I moved at the end of the month, and I couldn’t be happier!
The new place is a street over, a cute space, great owners/management, they take pets, underground parking, has a pool, QUIET, rent controlled, AND it’s $240 cheaper than my current apartment. I CAN’T WAIT to get out of here.

I realized that I was happy in all other parts of my life, except in my home. The one place I should be happy.

I’m looking forward to my new apartment, a new chapter in my life. And, coming home, day after day, NOT wanting to strangle my neighbors.

 

Finding Clarity…In Vegas??

Posted on by Justin

When people take trips to Las Vegas, they usually don’t remember most of it. And, if they do, they probably keep it to themselves. Binge drinking, meeting “professional women” on the strip and losing their entire paychecks in one weekend, are things that most people like to keep under wraps. There is a reason why Las Vegas has a slogan, ya know. But, my trips to Las Vegas are very different than most. I’m not too fond of the city itself, but the people I know there, are a different story. I go there to have coffee with friends, reflect, and do yoga.

I don’t need to lose money in Las Vegas. Los Angeles takes advantage of my bank account enough as it is. And, not as quickly.

I’ve come to the realization that the last few times I went to Vegas, was when I am really stressed and needed a “break.”  I did my taxes recently (which was disgusting), work has been stressing me out, and the drama within the Anusara community was confusing for me. And, I had been getting tension headaches because of all of this. So, away I went towards the desert.

I stayed with my friend, Tracie, and her family. She always opens her home up to me and knows why I go out there. She knows that I am there to see her, and she also understands that I’m there to find clarity with whatever I’m dealing with. I spent a lot of time with her over coffee, dinner and just hanging out. I took her and her husband to see the Cirque Du Soleil show, Zumanity, to show my appreciation. It was the least I could have done for them.

 

 

My main purpose of the trip was to get some insight from my teacher about the Anusara controversy. Where I stand, and where she stands.  After talking with her in class and at her house, I begin to realize that no matter what happens with Anusara itself, it shouldn’t affect me or my practice.  Yoga is always about the individual. You make it your own. If my teacher were to resign tomorrow, it would not change anything, nothing at all. No matter what she calls herself (Anusara, Ashtanga, etc.), I’d still be in her classes and follow her anywhere. The same goes for my teacher here in Los Angeles. I’ve already formed bonds with these people, and many with the other students as well. I love the style of yoga, yes. But, I love the people that I’ve met through it, more. It’s the people, and not so much the style, that keeps me coming back. It took many discussions over wine and cheese for me to understand this. But, I finally got it. 

Karen(my teacher) knew I had been struggling with various things recently. So, she got about six people from the Las Vegas kula together for wine, cheese, music and laughs. It was a real treat and just what I needed to cheer me up.  I’m not surprised. Most of my friends know what will cheer me up. I consider them my family. And, that’s what I got out of this trip. No matter what I’m going through, I remember that I have friends who are my family. And, that’s really all I need…to be surrounded by love and like minded people. I’m grateful for each and every one of them.

 

But, after four days of being in the desert, I was looking forward to geting back to Los Angeles. Las Vegas is full off dirt and it dried the crap out of my skin!

 

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The not so Happy Holidays, pt 3

Posted on by Justin

Let’s just say that I was on my mat A LOT during mid December 2010. My mother had gone into the hospital due to a urinary tract infection that caused her to be septic in her bloodstream, which the doctors were treating with antibiotics. She was in ICU for about four or five days. Back in Vegas, I was still packing up my home to prepare for my move back to Los Angeles. My last day of work was the 15th and I was planning on moving back to LA that afternoon. Between that, work and all my yoga time, I was pretty busy. My mother had been in and out of the hospital several times before, but no one seemed to be very concerned about it. That is, until…she wasn’t getting any better.  I knew it was pretty serious when I spoke to the nurse and she said, “If it was my mother, I’d fly into town.”  So, I did. I flew into Beaumont on Friday, Dec 10th and went straight to the hospital.

From the moment I walked into her ICU room, her eyes lit up and her face started to glow. She always got so excited to see me no matter how she felt. I told her, “Move over, I need more room on this side of the bed to lay down”. She tried to move over for me, but couldn’t because she was so weak; this broke my heart. I squeezed my butt in the bed and laid with her for a long time, combing her hair, and telling her stories of how I used to get beat with the belt growing up. This, for some strange reason, made her laugh. :-)  My mom had this contagious laugh that I’d always love to hear. I still can hear it. Over the weekend, my family and I were always by her side and she seemed to be improving. Sunday came and it was time for me to go back to Las Vegas to prepare for my move back to Los Angeles that Wednesday. She said she was happy that I was happy and going to be moving back to LA. She was also really happy that I was going to The Galapagos because I got to ‘See all the pretty animals’. She wasn’t keen on me leaving, but I told her that “I needed to go on this trip so I can tell you all about it when I come back.” I couldn’t kiss her enough or rub my hands through her hair.  I knew this would be the last time I would see her.

Monday came and they moved her to a regular room to be with the family.

I went to one of Karen’s classes that night and dedicated my practice to her. That evening, I had wine, cheese, great conversation AND crying with Karen and her husband. When I was leaving to go home, my sister called me crying and said, “Mom just died.”  I started to tear up and said, “Good for her. Good for her.” I was surrounded by people who loved me the moment she passed. I couldn’t ask for a better place to be. She just went to sleep and was never in pain. What a better way to go? She’s not confined to the bed anymore and is finally free. I cried all that night, but was on my mat the next morning, dedicating my practice to her once again.  She’s not gone. She’s all around me. I am a part of her and that makes me smile a LOT.

There’s one thing you guys have to know about my mom. If she thought for ONE SECOND I was in a deep depression or wasn’t living my life to the fullest because she was gone; she’d get “Big Bertha” (The Belt) from the closet and whip my ass!

I love you mom.

I don’t think people like being unhappy…they just don’t know what else to do.”

Posted on by Justin

 

I just got back from a three day trip to Vegas. Three days of fun and excitement. Vegas fun to most is hitting the strip, gambling and all that touristy crap. My idea of fun was following my yoga teacher to her classes and pounding out 7hrs of yoga. I know, it sounds disgusting. Believe me, everyone one of my muscles have come out to say hi to me. I could literally stay in bed for another day to rest up. This must be how God felt when he created the heavens and the earth. His ass must have been tired too! But, it wasn’t ALL work. I hung out with a girlfriend of mine, and her family. I even got to see “O”  while sitting up by the light booth at the theatre, which was amazing!

Karen and I were chatting about our own personal problems with negative people. She said, “Ya know, I don’t think people like being unhappy…they just don’t know what else to do. They may not know how to change.” Of course, my ex and some of my family came up in this conversation. It is a real shame that you can’t pick your family. If that was the case, I would have exchanged most of them a long time ago. MOST, not ALL. I would have picked people who:

  • were less conservative
  • didn’t escort people out of the room when they started crying or got upset. People have emotions, let them express themselves. Sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable or embarrasses you.
  • didn’t drink white Zinfandel out of a box during Thanksgiving
  • …actually, anyone who ISN’T from Texas will do
I love my dad. But, at the same time, he can be the most frustrating person I have ever met. We went bass fishing from the time I was a small kid until I was an adult. I moved out of town in my early twenties. We were able to connect that way because that’s what he knew.  Don’t get me wrong, he loves me very much and is proud of me, but that’s our connection. Fishing, and him always asking me, “How’s work?” and “How’s your car doing?”  Otherwise he, along with most of my family, don’t really know me. It’s really a shame. The famous saying around our house growing up was, “Let me show you how to do it!” My mother, sister and I were so SICK of that phrase that we just made a joke of it. Basically, my dad would give us chores to do around the house. And about five minutes after we started these chores, my dad would come back and check our work. He would then proceed to tell us that we weren’t doing it right.  I should make straighter lines while cutting the grass in the back yard. My sister wasn’t folding the clothes correctly. And, there was always something he could change to make it “better.”
There was one particular incident that I will always remember. My dad had asked me to get a damp rag so he could wipe something up off the floor. I was kid of 8 or 10…maybe. So, I wet a rag in the sink and brought it to him. It clearly wasn’t to his liking when he said, “This isn’t damp, this is WET!”, while ringing the rag over my head. I remember the water hitting my head and face and how it made me feel…like shit. My ex was like this too. Only thinner and a lot younger.
Every idea or suggestion I had for…whatever, was changed or altered.  I would say, “Hey, what about this…?”, to which he would reply, “Umm…yeah, that’s okay. But, this makes more sense…” He did this ALL the time.  When someone is constantly saying these things to you, it  not only pisses you off; it wears down your self confidence and makes you question everything you do.
I really loved my ex and I still love my dad dearly. But, they really pissed me off!
Karen and I were talking about all of this and she made me realize…I can’t be too upset with them. Someone TAUGHT them this behavior. They weren’t born with it. I was at a weekend workshop with John Friend along with a few hundred other people earlier this year. He said a couple of things that really struck me.
  • “You can forgive, but that doesn’t mean forget.” He meant that you have to be able to forgive people. But if you forget what they did that was wrong, you could possible allow someone else to do the same to you. Forgive, but take care of yourself at the same time.
  • “It’s easy to wish someone well that you love and care about. But, it’s a lot harder to wish someone well who has harmed you in some way.”  While in savasana surrounded by 250 other people, holding my friend’s hand and crying…I forgave my ex. And, I do wish him well.
Every once in a blue moon, I’ll listen to the words that come out of my mouth when I’m angry.  And, it’s my dad; it is really disturbing.  So, I try to surround myself with great people who care about me all the time.  My dad is not a bad person. He just lived a much different life than I did growing up and it’s extremely hard for him to relate.
Negative people are becoming less of an issue for me  because I just won’t tolerate their bullshit anymore. I just got rid of a friend of mine who I’ve known for quite some time. I still love her, but I don’t love her attitude. I just got tired of it and sent her ass packin’. My yoga practice and my good friends helped to realize that I don’t have to put up with certain types of behavior. I refuse to put up with it. Once I finally got that…nothing but good things have come into my life.
I see a lot of people who are struggling with issues like this. Hopefully they will find their way.
God, that wasn’t as funny as the last posts. Lol. But, sometimes you can’t get to one place without going through another.

Break ups do a body good!

Posted on by Justin

 

 

Let’s just say that the word “Turbulent” is an understatement when it comes to my last relationship. I didn’t “walk into the punches”. Hell, I tried to outrun them, along with the ridicule and other verbal abuse. I happened to do some research on Sociopaths and was frightened by the similarities. The 2.5yr relationship lasted about 2yrs too long. We  met on myspace through a mutual friend when he was in D.C. and I was in L.A. We had an online romance that turned into emails, phone calls and then visits.  Cut to 6 mo. later when we…get ready for it…moved to Las Vegas. Las Vegas. One of the  hottest places in North America…the desert! He was originally from Las Vegas. So, he was moving home and I was moving to a hot ass place with no friends. Lovely. But, who cares? I was in love and clearly blind. Stevie Wonder could have told me it was a bad idea. But, I never heard from him, so I ended up moving anyway.

Things moved pretty quickly during the relationship, primarily because he was the one pushing for these things. We moved across the country to be together AND live together within six months. Four months later, I found myself signing loan documents for a brand new house that was just built in a nice gated community in Northwest Las Vegas. We watched the house actually being built. We were very excited. So, in less than a year’s time…I had a new boyfriend, moved out of state, new job, new car(oh, did I mention we bought two mini coopers?) and two sphynx cats. I’m not sure if you’d call it being domesticated or being engulfed in flames?

Through all of these major life changing events, I had lots of red flags from the beginning, telling me things like,  ”Hey, idiot! What the hell are you doing??”, and “You fucking asshole is NOT a term of endearment”. But, for some reason, I still felt like I needed a change. Believe me, I got one. From the beginning until up to the very end, the relationship was basically this:

  • Him having all these ideas, and him not following through. Which usually included me paying for them. I still am on a couple.
  • Me being riddled with anxiety because I was always being put down on every idea and thought I had. But, believed that because he loved me, it was okay…which put me into emotional tailspins. I was basically a walking infomercial for Xanax.
  • I loved him, and I do believe he really loved me. But, he was young (25) at the time and the sociopath thing REALLY got in the way. As hard as we tried, we just didn’t work. He was oil, I was water.
  • Everything looked pretty from the outside to others, but it was really a hot ass mess!

A little over 2yrs in, I just really got tired of trying, and tired of not being myself. Not really being yourself for 2yrs is a LONG time. We finally split up in May of 2010, but we ended up living together for another month until he found a place and got everything in order. LONGEST month of my life. Jesus! When I get stressed out, I like to keep busy to take my mind off of my problems. To endure my month of hell, I picked up extra hours at work. I also thought to myself, “Why don’t I set a 30 day challenge for my self. Thirty consecutive days of yoga. That’ll keep me busy and I hear yoga is supposed to be good for the mind too.” So, that’s what I did. I was a member of a gym so I bounced around all of the 24hr fitness yoga classes.  Ya know, so  I could make sure that I met my goal. I never thought I’d be doing yoga during my 30 days of hopeful clarity. But, I’m really glad I did. I figured I had hit rock bottom emotionally and something good HAD to come out of this. It couldn’t get any worse.

So, I was doing “Gym Yoga”. Gym Yoga. As I look back on it now, it wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great by any means. At least not to me. It was as if all the teachers were really substitutes like you had in high school. They knew what the cirriculum was, but didn’t really know how to teach it. Some were okay, and others were aweful. I think I actually got up and left during the middle of a class one time. But, I still pushed through these classes, determined to achieve my goal.

It was about a week or so into my yoga bender when I met a woman who basically put a smile back on my face.  Because her classes were actually fun and great workout. I’d never done Warrior 2 while listening to AC/DC in my life, nor had I heard of such a weird thing. But, there I was. She gave me my self confidence back, made me feel cared about, and feel important again. Seeing as though I had not felt those things in such a long time, I wasn’t about to stray too far. I stuck to her like a tight shirt on a sweaty farm hand! This 5’4″ blond, bubbly firecracker, almost single handedly pulled my sad ass out of the dirt and helped me be…me again. She will ALWAYS be “my teacher” and I will always be “her student”.

She came into my life EXACTLY when I needed it. For me, I looked at her as a mentor and an inspiration.

But, to her…it was just Karen being Karen.