I just got back from a three day trip to Vegas. Three days of fun and excitement. Vegas fun to most is hitting the strip, gambling and all that touristy crap. My idea of fun was following my yoga teacher to her classes and pounding out 7hrs of yoga. I know, it sounds disgusting. Believe me, everyone one of my muscles have come out to say hi to me. I could literally stay in bed for another day to rest up. This must be how God felt when he created the heavens and the earth. His ass must have been tired too! But, it wasn’t ALL work. I hung out with a girlfriend of mine, and her family. I even got to see “O” while sitting up by the light booth at the theatre, which was amazing!
Karen and I were chatting about our own personal problems with negative people. She said, “Ya know, I don’t think people like being unhappy…they just don’t know what else to do. They may not know how to change.” Of course, my ex and some of my family came up in this conversation. It is a real shame that you can’t pick your family. If that was the case, I would have exchanged most of them a long time ago. MOST, not ALL. I would have picked people who:
- were less conservative
- didn’t escort people out of the room when they started crying or got upset. People have emotions, let them express themselves. Sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable or embarrasses you.
- didn’t drink white Zinfandel out of a box during Thanksgiving
- …actually, anyone who ISN’T from Texas will do
I love my dad. But, at the same time, he can be the most frustrating person I have ever met. We went bass fishing from the time I was a small kid until I was an adult. I moved out of town in my early twenties. We were able to connect that way because that’s what he knew. Don’t get me wrong, he loves me very much and is proud of me, but that’s our connection. Fishing, and him always asking me, “How’s work?” and “How’s your car doing?” Otherwise he, along with most of my family, don’t really know me. It’s really a shame. The famous saying around our house growing up was, “Let me show you how to do it!” My mother, sister and I were so SICK of that phrase that we just made a joke of it. Basically, my dad would give us chores to do around the house. And about five minutes after we started these chores, my dad would come back and check our work. He would then proceed to tell us that we weren’t doing it right. I should make straighter lines while cutting the grass in the back yard. My sister wasn’t folding the clothes correctly. And, there was always something he could change to make it “better.”
There was one particular incident that I will always remember. My dad had asked me to get a damp rag so he could wipe something up off the floor. I was kid of 8 or 10…maybe. So, I wet a rag in the sink and brought it to him. It clearly wasn’t to his liking when he said, “This isn’t damp, this is WET!”, while ringing the rag over my head. I remember the water hitting my head and face and how it made me feel…like shit. My ex was like this too. Only thinner and a lot younger.
Every idea or suggestion I had for…whatever, was changed or altered. I would say, “Hey, what about this…?”, to which he would reply, “Umm…yeah, that’s okay. But, this makes more sense…” He did this ALL the time. When someone is constantly saying these things to you, it not only pisses you off; it wears down your self confidence and makes you question everything you do.
I really loved my ex and I still love my dad dearly. But, they really pissed me off!
Karen and I were talking about all of this and she made me realize…I can’t be too upset with them. Someone TAUGHT them this behavior. They weren’t born with it. I was at a weekend workshop with John Friend along with a few hundred other people earlier this year. He said a couple of things that really struck me.
- “You can forgive, but that doesn’t mean forget.” He meant that you have to be able to forgive people. But if you forget what they did that was wrong, you could possible allow someone else to do the same to you. Forgive, but take care of yourself at the same time.
- “It’s easy to wish someone well that you love and care about. But, it’s a lot harder to wish someone well who has harmed you in some way.” While in savasana surrounded by 250 other people, holding my friend’s hand and crying…I forgave my ex. And, I do wish him well.
Every once in a blue moon, I’ll listen to the words that come out of my mouth when I’m angry. And, it’s my dad; it is really disturbing. So, I try to surround myself with great people who care about me all the time. My dad is not a bad person. He just lived a much different life than I did growing up and it’s extremely hard for him to relate.
Negative people are becoming less of an issue for me because I just won’t tolerate their bullshit anymore. I just got rid of a friend of mine who I’ve known for quite some time. I still love her, but I don’t love her attitude. I just got tired of it and sent her ass packin’. My yoga practice and my good friends helped to realize that I don’t have to put up with certain types of behavior. I refuse to put up with it. Once I finally got that…nothing but good things have come into my life.
I see a lot of people who are struggling with issues like this. Hopefully they will find their way.
God, that wasn’t as funny as the last posts. Lol. But, sometimes you can’t get to one place without going through another.